Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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