she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
