is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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