my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
