This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
How external is "for external use only"?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
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