I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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