Where is the hickey?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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