Me too!
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
