I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
why is half of my head shaved?
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