He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
