As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
