He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
