we made out on top of his cat.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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