btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
