I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
