HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
