What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
