That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's never too late to be topless.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
