Will you blow on my dice?
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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