Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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