Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
