i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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