Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I want her autograph on my taint
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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