I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
