mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
