I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize