it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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