And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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