I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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