So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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