The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
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