ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
