That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
