my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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