I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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