i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
