im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
