Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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