erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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