Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
