I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I need a burrito and a hug.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
