I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
