wrigley field is MILF paradise
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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