How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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