I accidentally had phone sex last night
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
