i think my mom watched the whole time
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
