im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
