Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
