oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
