You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
