Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
