Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
