All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Randomize
