I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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