sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
