dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
