I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize