So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
