I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
