Pappa wants mamma naked
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
