Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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