fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
