The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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