I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize